Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
