Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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