hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
