***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
