I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Found the puke drawer
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
