Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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