What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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