I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
