who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
bring money and cleavage
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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