You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
