It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
