i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
