I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
