Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Four minutes until I can fart!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
