now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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