you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I want you more than these girls want KFC
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
