when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
