Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
