My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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