Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize