Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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