and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
