im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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