you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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