You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
