Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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