i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
try to milk me bitch
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
