grandma shit on top of the toilet
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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