He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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