I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
