In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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