I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
