we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
