apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Dick very happy bro
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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