hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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