atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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