Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
