i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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