There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Girls should come with a carfax report
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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