my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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