ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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