So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
