He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
