Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
