theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
