K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
tell me about the eggs
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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