Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
my being single is dangerous.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
