a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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