If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My vagina just recognized that song.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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