thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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