just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We had to coat check the pizza.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
