guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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