i don't like sucking hair
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
